(API) In an unprecedented move, Independence Day has been canceled this year. According to a White House spokeperson, next year it will be replaced by Interdependence Day celebrate our need to rely ever more upon our Government and the end of the failed experiment in self-rule that marked the United States of the past.
More than 300 communities nationwide are canceling fireworks and celebrations. Spokesperson Hairy Blount stated that it was only right to eliminate this expensive waste of scarce energy and even government money that merely celebrated the "old dead white guys" that were originally responsible for the problems of the world today. "Besides', Blount stated, "think of the pollution that fireworks cause and its effect on the California Mud Dauber Wasp, an endangered species."
A joint Congressional - White House task force has tentatively settled on May first as the day of the proposed Interdepence Day holiday. Blount said "This will put us in step with the rest of the world."
Of course the usual far-right fringe groups and hate talk radio objected.
Note: More than 300 communities nationwide are canceling fireworks and celebrations -- perhaps yours too? Coincidence? I think not.